*This article was originally on Kimberleygbueno.wordpress.org (4/9/16) and has just been moved to this website.
Wow, that title though. Definitely eye-catching since you clicked on this. hehehe.
I felt that it’s time to share and release my feelings on this platform since I have mentioned it in a few other articles. This is just how I feel, so remember that there are two sides to every story.
To The Man Who Shattered My Heart,
Hi. Hello there.
You most likely won’t be reading this. But if you do, these are just some thoughts that I had after having to pick up the pieces of my heart with the help of my friends and family. Experiencing a break up is one of the worst things that anyone can go through emotionally.
Before I met you, I was struggling with my emotions. I wasn’t feeling anything. I wasn’t sad, happy, or excited. I don’t know how to explain it, but I just couldn’t feel.
When I met you (officially), I literally felt like I was on cloud 9. I was happy with everything and everyone. After watching all the romantic comedy movies, I felt like I was finally living my own romantic comedy. I was so excited and my heart was filled with so much joy.
Somewhere down the road, it became rough and bumpy. I could see that something needed to get done or else we would fall apart. I didn’t know what to do. I thought doing more things together would help, but I think that just made things worse. I could feel the love slowly go away.
The relationship we had, in my eyes, was a passionate fiery one that Jess (from New Girl) talks about. We were stubborn with each other, but we knew how to make each other laugh and smile. It was incredibly fun. There was so much love and we both cared about each other deeply.
Those fluttery feelings were replaced with emotions of confusion, anxiety, and sadness.
I’m guilty of having the thoughts of breaking it off too, but you chose to walk away from the relationship. When you closed the door, the overwhelming pain of a shattered heart quickly took over.
I had many nights crying myself to sleep. I had replayed the moment over and over again. I had told the story as if I was on repeat. I watched Ted Talks in the morning to try to make myself feel better. I thought about every bad moment in hopes that time would rewind so I can make sure that I would fix my mistakes. I watched YouTube videos on breakups to see if I could somehow get rid of the pain.
You hurt me.
I couldn’t understand why you broke it off. I wanted to know exactly why. I came up with a thousand reasons why walking away was the best choice, but I never knew which one was your reason.
Though this process helped me learn so much.
I’m learning that the people who listened to me talk about what happened over and over again are great people. I found who my true friends are because of this. I’ve opened up to my family, who also chose to open up to me. I’m working on being a better person and being okay on my own.
I’m alright. I know I’m an intelligent beautiful woman who deserves someone who deeply cares about me.
If you do read this, I want you to know that it was probably for the best. I do wish that you didn’t give up, but you did. I wish you the best.